This Is How It Ends
by Celeste38
Summary: The war in Heaven and the battle on Earth have come to an end. Unfortunately, not every story has a happy ending. Which Dean is forced to realize when Castiel grants him an audience one last time...*Spoilers for Season 6,"My Heart Will Go On/Frontierland"


**I'm becoming more and more worried by where Castiel's plotline has been leading him towards this season. The two outcomes I see for it are both unhappy ones, and I'm really hoping I'm wrong. If it's going to end badly for my favorite character, then this how I want it to play out in the end. *Spoilers for "My Heart Will Go On" and "Frontierland".**

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><p>Castiel held his blade limply by his side; waiting silently in the dark for the confrontation he had been dreading.<p>

Part of him rejoiced. Raphael was dead, the war was won, and humanity was safe. But the other part of him, the entity he had been before Heaven tore itself to shreds, grieved over what had come to pass. God had revived him, appointing him the responsibility of assuming Michael's duties now that the archangel was trapped in Hell, and he had made a mess of it. Civil War, much of which was being blamed on him for his actions the year before, ripped his homeland apart and stained the ground with blood. There would be a scar on the land for many years to come, and his role in it shamed him down to his very core.

In the heat of battle he had become distant, and had resorted to desperate measures. Unfortunate decisions had to be made, and he did so for the sake of all humanity. Every strategic move he made was for the Winchester's and their small band of allies; for the ones still alive, and for those who had perished in the fight to stop the Apocalypse. The angel had been desperate to protect them and what they stood for.

And now, it was all over. The time had come for him to face his sins, and to wash the grime from his hands…

"I can't believe that worked, it was almost too easy!"

At the sound of Dean's voice from outside the old building, Castiel lifted his head wearily and honed in on his friend. Watching through the living room window as the men walked heavily up the creaky old steps of Bobby's front porch; the three of them were emanating with delight over a victory of their own.

Raphael wasn't the only one who had been slain that night; Eve had met her fate as well.

"Can we retire for real this time?" Bobby was asking as the hall light turned on, and three shadows approached the room Castiel was standing quietly in. When the hunters entered the chamber and flicked on the lights, all of them seemed surprised to see him there. "I guess I spoke too soon, huh?"

The angel allowed a small smile to tug at the corner of his mouth in response to the aging man's question, and stood a little straighter as the young brothers flanked each side of their surrogate father. Confusion and uncertainty were painted clearly on their faces as they took in his ragged appearance. And he briefly wondered how savage he must have looked to them. "I'm happy to hear that The Mother of All is no longer an issue."

"Yeah, well it's nice to know she was such a big concern to you." Dean grumbled; his happy mood dissipating as he rolled his eyes and made his way towards Bobby's liquor cabinet. He was fully intending on celebrating their accomplishment of the evening, even with the angel there to spoil the moment. "How big was her blimp on your radar exactly?"

Despite himself, Castiel tilted his head in confusion as Sam and Bobby went to their own favorite spots in the room. Both of them were in research mode in mere seconds, and they pulled out everything they had on angels to begin reading.

"What do you want, Cas?" Dean was now asking as he poured himself a generous helping of whiskey. "Is there some new war-related mess you're about to ask us to fix for you?"

The angel hesitated. "…Yes."

Sam, seeing the weariness in his friend's eyes when he had glanced over at the battered man, put down the book of angelic lore he was about to dive into. More sympathetic for what the celestial being had been dealing with, and eager to do his part to help out. "What is it?"

"I need you to kill me."

All three of the hunters paused in stunned silence at the command. Dean was the first one to break the ice, putting his glass down on the coffee table, and giving the angel a long stare of confusion and concern. For the first time in a long time, he was actually listening to what his friend had been saying. "I…I'm sorry, what?"

Castiel held up his sword, and handed its hilt over to the man he had pulled out of Hell. "I've lied to you three."

"Why?" Sam asked; more concerned over the angel's death wish than with the falsehoods he was now admitting to.

"Because I feared your disappointment over my actions, and didn't think I could afford to lose your presence in my life while I was locked so tightly in battle." The angel explained softly, unsure if he was making any sense to them. Looking away from the inquiring eyes; he found himself staring out the window once more. "I willingly allowed Balthazar to save that ship and alter history, because it would have given us 50,000 more souls to aid us in our fight. We would have had the upper hand we needed to win the war, but I made him fix it when it became apparent to me that you would suffer for my desperation."

"Cas…"

He sighed, turning his attention down to his bloodstained hands. "I've done…other regrettable things to try to ensure winning the war, things I will not revisit for you because it pains me to think of how low I had been willing to go. However; I felt that I had made the right choices in order to protect you. And I will not take that back, even if you hate me for it."

The three men continued to listen in silence. Each of them reflected on things they had done over the years, horrible things that had been for the greater good. And on some small scale, despite not knowing what it was he had done, they understood his self-loathing.

"We have won…But my actions have corrupted me, and I cannot be allowed to live." Castiel lifted his blue eyes to meet Dean's green ones, and the hunter could see the silent pleas they held. "If I am to die, then I want it to be by your hands."

Moisture built up in the young man's eyes as he stared at his friend in disbelief, and the faces of those who had been lost over the years flashed in his mind: His parents, Ellen, Jo, Ash…people he had loved, family in both blood and spirit, he had lost in the blink of an eye. And now the man he had allowed himself to become friends with, the man he had begun to think of like a brother after the year they had spent together on the road, was asking him to kill him? "No." He couldn't do it. How could Castiel ask him to do it? "Are you kidding me? Absolutely not!"

"Dean…"

"No, Cas!" The hunter tossed the blade aside, and began to pace the room angrily. Refusing to meet the angel's eye as he instead shared glances with Bobby and Sam, seeing their own anguish over the situation their friend had chosen to put them in. After a withering glare at the weapon discarded on the floor, the young man locked eyes with his friend once more. Trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke, "I can't believe you're actually asking me to do this."

"You once promised Sam that you would do it for him."

"Yeah, well I lied." Dean shot back, and he didn't apologize for it. "When Sammy was wallowing in the possibilities of becoming evil, I never stopped having faith that he wouldn't completely lose himself to the demon within him. And the same applies to you, Cas!"

The angel shook his head, trying to make his friend understand. "The things I did…"

"You were at war, and you were determined to win it for our sakes." The hunter argued, unwilling to back down. "Horrible things happen on the battlefield, there's no way to sugarcoat it because it's a fact of life. The good guys, sooner or later, always cross a questionable line in their fight to accomplish their goals. You don't wage a war and come out smelling like roses, there's always going to be some shit on your boots in the end."

"We know you had reason to do what you had to do, and we forgive you for it. You can learn to forgive yourself too." Sam piped up, speaking from experience. His own eyes were pleading for his friend to see reason in what they were saying to him. "It just takes a while…"

"After all the garbage you just went through, it would be a waste to give up now." Said Bobby gruffly, trying to offer his own support. "We can help you, if you let us."

A haggard sigh escaped Castiel's lips, and he hung his head. It made his heart swell, hearing and feeling the humans efforts to raise up his downtrodden spirit. But they weren't seeing the reality of the situation. He wasn't human; he couldn't overcome this as easily as they seemed to think he could. "I _am_ asking for your help…"

"Dammit!" Anger flared up in Dean again as he took a step forward and grabbed the angel by the shoulders, shaking him forcefully. "This isn't how it ends, Cas. You don't have to die, why can't you see that?"

"Why can't _you_ see that this _is_ how it ends?" Castiel roared back, wrenching himself from the man's grasp. "You're human, Dean. Your race was designed to be flawed; you are meant to continually overcome incredible odds and move on with your lives. Angels don't have that luxury; we were not created the same way! If we commit a sin, it eats away at us for the rest of eternity. It doesn't go away, and it doesn't heal. The corruption spreads, until we become something else entirely and are a threat to everything else around us."

The room was blanketed in silence for a moment, and no one moved. All eyes were glued on the raging angel as he laughed humorously, before his face fell with overwhelming sadness. Staring at his sword, which was still glistening with Raphael's blood, he bent over to pick it up.

"My grace is rotting away as we speak…" He whispered, his regrettable actions were replaying themselves over and over again in his mind. "If angels were capable of ending their own lives, then I would have done so by now. But we're not. Those of us who have been tainted by sin cannot Fall and become human, because the corruption would still be there and it would have disastrous results once the reborn were old enough to start causing damage to the humans around them. Our only option in this situation…is oblivion."

Reluctantly, Dean met his friend's eye.

"Most angels stand before the court to face their death, but there are few who turn to someone they're close to instead." Castiel continued. His heart was heavy as he slowly lifted the blade once more, and offered its hilt to the human standing before him. "Balthazar requested it of me…and I'm requesting it from you. Because I am selfish; and I wanted my last moments to be spent here…with my family."

Numbly, the hunter accepted the weapon. Feeling its weight in his hands as he shook his head in grief; and, despite understanding on some level what was happening to the angel, he tried once more to talk his friend out of it. "Please, Cas..."

"I'm dangerous." Those blue eyes were bearing into him, pleading desperately for him to end it. "…and I'm in pain."

Both Bobby and Sam, their eyes shining with raw emotion, turned their heads away from the depressing scene playing out before them. Castiel and Dean shared one final soul-searching stare as they reached an understanding. Then, just as the angel closed his eyes with acceptance, the sword reluctantly hit its mark. Blood trickled down the blade as Dean quickly pulled it out, staring in shock as a white light mingled with the red liquid gushing from the injury.

The angel fell heavily to his knees, and all three of the humans dashed towards him. Holding him in their arms; comforting him as best they could.

"I don't think I've ever really said this enough, Cas." Dean stammered, clutching his friend's shoulder desperately as he suddenly realized how much he had wronged the angel who had rebelled for him. Catching the other man's tired eyes. "Thank you…for everything you did for us, and for all the shit you had to put up with. I'm sorry for everything horrible that has happened to you because of those decisions."

The angel lifted his hand to grasp his friend's shoulder; unable to speak any longer, and trying to express his gratitude for what the man was telling him.

"I didn't deserve you…"

Castiel shook his head in disagreement, as his body convulsed with pain. The light in his chest was growing brighter. It spread quickly as he wheezed out his final breath, and his hand slipped limply from the hunter's shoulder. In seconds, the room seemed to explode, flinging the humans backward like ragdolls.

When Dean's sight returned to him he saw, with devastating clarity, the burnt imprints of wings underneath his friend's still form. And for the first time in over a year, he sobbed.

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><p><strong>If Cas is going to die, then it better be a good noble death and we better see Dean have an emotional reaction to it. If Cas starts losing himself more and more because of what he's had to do in the war, then I want Dean to recognize what's going on and to help him push through it like he's done for Sam. I just hope this anxiety and dread I'm feeling over what may go down in the next few episodes is way off the mark, and things work out for my boys in the end…But, sadly, the foreshadowing we've been getting the past few episodes does not bode well.<strong>


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